Jim McCaughan is obsessed with the idea of getting his hands on a fund of funds fund hedge fund

It's all he thinks about, morning, noon, and midnight (oh, midnight, the very worst time to think about such things, in my experience). It's a rather sordid affair. Obviously, Mr McCaughan is the chief executive of Principal Global Investors, but that's no excuse. The man should have more restraint, and a greater sense of decency. Everyone knows about it, this obsession. Has he no shame?Speaking

Yoel Zaoui is leaving Goldman Sachs, and retiring

I always get really sad when a top financial shaman feels he can't hack it any more. This one is called Yoel Zaoui and he is/was Goldman's co-head of M&A. (That's Mysticism and Assassinations, for those who aren't familiar with the terminology. Actually, it should just be MA, Mystical Assassinations. That would make more sense. But Goldman has its own way of doing things.) There's no need to

Me? I hardly know anything about Victoria Harling

And believe me, just believe, make the effort, just spinning now, I would like to know more about Victoria Harling[1], and Investec Asset Management has taken her away from Nomura, and lifted her up to the blue sky, and swirled her[1], and it's got to be more than three with a woman like this, a woman, a girl, a round, it's gotta go round and round, forever, I'd say[1], and it's supposed to be

BlueGold Capital has had enough, and it's going away

We'll never see it again. / What did the mysterious Stephen Jen know? That's what I want to know. Maybe he knew nothing. And he wasn't really all that mysterious was he? 'He wasn't mysterious at all!' Oh, you're right. He wasn't mysterious at all.I wish I were going away. I wish I were returning all the flesh and bones to all the people who put everything into my success. The sacrifices they made

Let's get Dan Carter round and round in rings like the fund manager from Jupiter that he is

And again, and it just so happens that I know it'll be more than three[1], and dizzy, dizzy Dan, all around, never stop it, we go[1], and Dan Carter came from outer space, Jupiter in fact, as long ago as 2008, and now he was an an-an-analyst for his sins[1], and it's something to do with Far Eastern equities teamwork glue he’s mixed up with[1], and repeat this until Dan is sick and begging for

Goldman Sachs

This is an example of conceptual literature where the idea behind the writing is more important than the actual writing. (You could also take a look at yesterday's post.) Enjoy!And you believe that the Goldman Sachs Group is a leading global investment banking, securities and investment management firm, of course, indeed, uh, and you know it, and you feel it, and you are Goldman's flower[1], and

Never be three

And there's so much fucking chaos everywhere[1], and words that don't make sense[1], and not that I care[1], and it could go on forever[1], and because I haven't got the power to stop it[1], and words that don't make sense[2], and there's so much pain hidden[1], and I'm stuck round and round in this hell[1], and repeat this until you're sick[1], and it just so happens that I hate them[1], and

Searchlight Capital Partners is doing all right, I suppose

Compared to poor Mr Bojangles, I mean. Nothing to complain about, like. Oh, it's doing better than all right. Searchlight Capital Partners has just closed its first fund with $860 million all piled up high to the sky. If this were cash on the ground, and all around, they would be rolling in it, I'm sure, Erol and the gang.We're talking Erol Uzumeri, Oliver Haarmann, and Eric Zinterhofer. They're

I promise to stop writing about music ...

... soon. Just not today, because I'm obsessed, frankly. And, frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.I might scrap Gilly Marie. I know I've been writing about it, and writing about it, until you're blue in the face, but it just ain't melodic enough. However, I have a new piece which is very melodic, and I'm thinking that I could call that song Gilly, Gilly. Not only would the song be solely about

Ian Hannam has been fined by the FSA, and so now he resigns ...

'My advice? Leave JPMorgan Cazenove. Those muthas don't appreciate you. What you need to do is get yourself into the desert. You'll be a new man in the desert. You will forget in the desert. You will see visions. Money will burn within you. Try it. What have you got to lose?'That's from August 2008. My advice to Ian Hannam. Did he listen? What do you think? Well, it's been more than three years

Damien Hirst is one of the greatest artists that has ever lived

There are only four artists I'm interested in. (I'm talking painting, sculpture, etc.) Pablo Picasso is my favourite artist (and hero). Then there's Marcel Duchamp, because he was so revolutionary. Then Damien Hirst. And then Francis Bacon. I haven't got time for anyone else. No one else has the visionary power and the image power of these four guys. (Well, maybe Warhol, but he doesn't really

References, real and imagined

It's easy to laugh at motivational guru Tony Robbins because he's very American and optimistic with loads of teeth. (I actually have very few teeth. It's the British way of doing things.) However, he does have some great ideas that will help you achieve stuff, providing you want help and are prepared to take action.In his book Awaken the Giant Within Robbins has written about references: 'How do